


Negative feedback loop

by Saturnactuallywrote



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sharing beds, Soulmates (implied), Themes of Anxiety, kind of?, short and sweet, sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturnactuallywrote/pseuds/Saturnactuallywrote
Summary: When Oikawa was little he had trouble falling asleep by himself. But now he’s older and over that. MostlyI wanted to explore Oikawas image inverse (vulnerability and insecurity compared to confidence and assuredness) as well as the Iwaoi dynamic in a way that’s not just me writing a glorified English essay.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Negative feedback loop

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had no motivation so I wanted to write a happy fic to combat that. And it worked! Yay (: 
> 
> The sleeping thing is based off of my experience (😳) so it might be more anxiety coded than I intended.
> 
> take care of yourselves ^ - ^

He doesn’t remember how or why he started doing it. Every night he would put his pajamas on, brush his teeth (sometimes), and climb right into his parents bed to sleep sandwiched between them. Little kids sleeping in their parents bed was very common. Tooru, however, had only stopped when he was 11. In middle school.   
It’s one of those things. He doesn’t remember learning it, only not knowing and knowing. He hadn’t thought about how other kids slept. Until he knew it wasn’t normal. None of his classmates had problems sleeping by themselves, not even Iwa.   
When Oikawa and Iwa were 7 they were finally allowed to have sleepovers. It was then Oikawa realized he didn’t need to be with his parents to fall asleep, he just needed to be with someone else. In fact, with Iwa on the floor next to him-because they couldn’t decide who would get to sleep on the bed, so they both just took the floor-he fell asleep with all the lights off and his door closed. (He was quite proud of himself for that.) He had felt safe outside of his parents bed for once, safe enough to fall asleep even. Whenever he did try to sleep in his own bed he would always stay awake and alert, being scared of practically everything around him. He refused to close his door because he thought he would lock the danger in with him, but also because he knew it would end up open as he went to his parents room anyway. But Oikawa was too embarrassed to explain that to his parents. He’d told Iwa though. He was Oikawa's best friend after all- not to imply they aren’t best friends now.  
The doctor told his parents he would grow out of it.   
“He probably has separation anxiety.”   
His parents left early and worked late.   
“He just wants to be with them more.”  
Probably.   
When he was 11 he became frightened by the idea that he would never be able to sleep alone, so he finally forced himself to sleep in his own bed. No matter how many eye burning, dreamless nights he had to go through.

And he has the audacity to question why he has a migraine problem.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

He wondered what time it was but he didn’t want to check it. His parents were gone on a work trip, leaving him home alone.   
Friday night, tomorrow was Saturday. The weekends felt so calming to him. The exhale and inhale between spoken paragraphs. A sense of relief that feels entirely too short. A pause in the specific image he works hard to keep for himself. He sees it as being selective about what he shows outwardly. Having the other parts of him on display for everyone felt weird. Well, he never had to worry about that with volleyball or around Iwaizumi.  
Iwa actually might still be awake now that he thinks about it. If he wanted to he could go over to his house. It would make sleeping much easier. And he would get to see Iwa. Win-win.  
At this point Oikawa knew he was fucked. The thought had already crossed his mind, and boy did it sound good. He was probably going to end up going. He was becoming increasingly frustrated due to his lack of sleep. He looked around his room again. There was nothing there. He didn’t want to be in the house anymore. Noises surrounded him, everytime he shifted his eyes across the room he swore something would move in his peripheral. A balloon inflating, pushing him out. He had to get out of here. Annoyingly familiar. He grabbed his phone and headed straight for the front door.  
He put on the first pair of slides he found and locked the door behind him. It was cold out. He admits flannel pants and a crewneck don't provide the best warmth in 60 degree weather, but hey at least he had fuzzy socks on. He pulled out his phone and called Iwa.  
The rings counted in his mind. One, two, three, four…   
“Oi ‘Kawa… Do you know what time it is?”  
He didn’t actually.  
Iwa’s voice sounded groggy, like he had been about to fall asleep. Oikawa felt like he should feel bad for practically waking him up, but he didn’t. Was that a bad thing?  
“Hey Iwa, do you remember how I would sleep in my parent’s bed for the longest time when I was little? Like I couldn’t sleep by myself?”  
“Where’s this going, Trashykawa?” He sounded unamused. Oikawa should just ask and get it over with.  
“Ah-well my parents aren’t home tonight. So...can I.. sleep in your bed?”  
Actually now that he said it out loud it sounds really stupid. He would almost prefer suffocating in his room to having Iwa laugh in his face at the request. But he didn’t laugh? That caught him off guard. Instead he heard a short exhale from the phone, like he was breathing through his nose out of amusement. And also fondness, in a way.   
“Yeah, sure.”  
He perked up at these words.   
“Thanks Iwa-chan! I’ll be there in 5.” you could practically hear the smile in his words.  
It was only a five minute walk so he wasn’t worried or anything. Besides he lives in one of the safest neighborhoods. He was also too tired to worry about walking around in the middle of the night. Damn it was cold.  
He pulled out his phone to text Iwa he was there rather than ringing the doorbell. He didn’t think that would be a good idea. Just a feeling. The front door opened a few seconds after he sent his text. Iwa was probably waiting behind the door.  
“Stupid, you didn’t even bring a coat or anything?”  
Iwa’s whisper confirmed that his parents were most likely sleeping.  
“So mean! Is this how I’m greeted?”   
It was a lot harder to keep his playful tone while whispering.  
They started walking up to Iwa’s room, avoiding the squeaky stair both of them knew would make too much noise. Now that he was here his body had practically forgotten the feeling that drove him out in the first place. Was it really that bad; couldn’t he have just dealt with it? Did he really need to wake Iwa up just so he wouldn’t have to sleep alone?  
“Shut up”  
“But I didn’t even say anything!” Oikawa whined back.  
“You were thinking so loud it was annoying. I could feel it from here.” Iwa responded dryly.  
“You could feel it? Hah, that’s impressive.”  
“Thank you”  
“That was sarcasm,” Oikawa said defeatedly. He knew Iwa probably knew that. He still had faith in him despite learning repeatedly not to overestimate his intellect.  
Iwa closed the door behind them as they entered his room. Even in the dark Oikawa had little trouble finding his way to Iwa’s bed. Iwa laid down first, holding the blanket up for Oikawa to climb into. It was warm. Iwa, wearing a hoodie, kept the covers on his legs that only had athletic shorts and socks. Oikawa wasn’t like that though. No matter what he was wearing he liked to be under the covers. Iwa would probably complain about him hogging all the blankets in the morning.  
Oikawa curled into Iwaizumi’s side. He was cozy afterall, and Tooru knew he didn’t mind. He was a physical person, he was just too embarrassed to admit how much he liked hugs. Tooru might get punched if he said that out loud.  
“Hey ‘Kawa? It’s been like what, six years? Why now?”  
Honestly he didn’t know, which he said.   
He must’ve been feeling stressed. Or maybe he’d gotten too lonely.  
He felt Iwa’s head tilt to rest on top of his own, which was resting in the crook of Iwa’s neck.  
“Hah? You don’t need to be lonely if you have me dumbass.”  
Well, that was true.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Oikawa likes to think of them as opposites. Not the negative opposites that exist in the absence of one another, but the other type of opposites. The ones that need each other to exist. He was not the inverse of Iwa’s personality, and that wasn’t what made them fit together in the way that they did.   
He also likes to think that everything has a soul. Compromised from every bit of knowledge, every feeling, and even every memory relating to that thing. They create a physical shape that is, in itself, the embodiment of that thing. This shape, however, is not tangible, meaning it is seen as one’s soul.

The shape of Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s souls, whatever they were, fit together timelessly


End file.
